It is a truth universally acknowledged that if a woman’s got headphones on, she doesn’t want to talk to you.
However, some misguided piece in The Modern Man suggests that, yes, women who have chosen to put something over and/or in their ears that actively prevents them from having to hear anything else do want to talk to random men ― they just need some nudging.
The piece was originally published in 2013, but has received renewed attention on social media after this Aug. 29 tweet:
You don't. pic.twitter.com/wOVHgCt5UW
— ᴾᴴᴼᴱᴮᴱ (@YoPhoebs)
Below is a sample piece of terrible advice from author Dan Bacon to men looking to talk to women with headphones:
THIS. ADVICE. IS. GARBAGE.
You know what a woman wants when she’s got her headphones in? To be left the hell alone. She’s probably listening to a sweet podcast or a great jam and doesn’t want to have it interrupted by a stranger miming the act of headphone removal in front of her face.
This isn’t a rom-com. You’re not John Cusack.
After this abomination of an article was recently resurfaced, people had a lot to say about it on Twitter:
How to approach women who wear headphones:
— David Jackmanson (@djackmanson)
1) Get in the bin
2) Set the bin on fire
3) Roll the bin away from the woman
4) Towards the sea
How To Talk To A Woman Wearing Headphones
— Clare Coffey (@ClareCoffey)
1. Create a podcast
How To Deal With Men Who Approach You While You're Wearing Headphones pic.twitter.com/ZHNjtnC4Hf
— a girl is no one (@OhNoSheTwitnt)
If you try to talk to me while I have headphones on I will IMMEDIATELY assume you are trying to mug me and introduce you to my pepper spray
— Danielle Henderson (@knottyyarn)
If i'm wearing headphones, don't talk to me unless you've won an Oscar or I'm on fire
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz)
the best way to talk to a woman wearing headphones is to move out of her line of sight and punch yourself repeatedly in the face and/or dick
— Gravitas Free Zone (@NoraReed)
Okay so I just looked up the “how to talk to a woman wearing headphones” article and I would literally vomit blood on any guy who did this.
— Rachel Feltman (@RachelFeltman)
Now, there’s a very good chance this article and the entire Modern Man site is simply poorly-written parody. Some of the other pieces of garbage the site has produced include:
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Why Doesn’t My Ex Girlfriend Care That We’ve Broken Up?
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How to Make My Ex Feel Guilty For Leaving Me
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My Ex Girlfriend is Happy With Her New Guy: How to Get Her Back
The only safe assumption here is that this is satire because if it’s not...
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