Like so many things, the Valentine’s Day experience tends to change after having kids.
Between the failed attempts to sneak some grown-up alone time and the pressure to make Pinterest-worthy valentines for every single one of your kids’ classmates, it’s hard to feel the romance around February 14.
But, at least you can laugh about it! We scoured Twitter and found some hilarious tweets about Valentine’s Day from moms and dads in the throes of parenting chaos.
I bring my kids to a romantic restaurant on Valentine's day as a birth control reminder to the other couples.
— Marlebean (@Marlebean)
My toddler running around in just a diaper, chocolate smeared all over his body & face like war paint. So Valentine’s Day is going well.
— Heather Spohr (@mamaspohr)
I think my son is really going to appreciate me secretly adding, "LOVE YA SWEET CHEEKS!" to all his valentines for the kids in his class.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22)
I'm not sure what my husband has planned for Valentine's Day but I hope it involves him taking the kids & leaving me home alone.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4)
6yo: I'm bored
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins)
Me: How about you make a Valentine's Day card?
6yo: pic.twitter.com/lGeLDFzo6c
Does my daughter have to give a vday card to the kid who said "I will put catnip in your mouth when my dad is not looking and make you cry"?
— Liz Gumbinner (@Mom101)
I'm chaperoning a Valentine's Day date for my 15yo and his girlfriend so I made her garlic pizza for dinner. Genius Level: 100
— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland)
Writing a Valentine's Day poem for the love of my life called:
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite)
"Hey. Let's Stay Awake After the Kids Go to Bed and Have a Quickie."
My 5yo included a little something special with each Valentine she signed...
— Wendy S. (@maughammom)
Germs. Because she coughed on every single one of them.
Brought 20 Valentines for 30 kids in my son's class. Cuz VIP only. Or I forgot how many kids there were or something.
— Walking Outside (@WalkingOutside)
My husband, as we drove four hours in our minivan today with four children and their leftover V-Day party loot: "Fun Dip should be illegal."
— Allison Slater Tate (@AllisonState)
I wouldn't say I'm unpleasant, but I would say my husband bought me a cactus for Valentine's Day and I was not surprised.
— Northern Lights (@PinkCamoTO)
Can't wait to battle my kid to help me make 20 Valentines that he will say are not as cool as the ones Liam's mom made.
— Tragic Ally (@TragicAllyHere)
Planning a hot Valentine's Day where I'll give husband one of 6yo's leftover Avengers cards, SpongeBob chocolates & his choice on Netflix.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl)
The card my 5yo chose to give to his class for Valentine's day: pic.twitter.com/xqEnrogvsv
— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins)
Hubs booked a romantic getaway at a resort for Valentine's Day.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer)
I'll miss him, but when I said I wanted peace and quiet, I meant alone.
Don't feel obligated to compliment my fragrance on our Valentine's date. It's just baby spit-up.
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal)
My Valentine is whichever kid falls asleep first tonight so I can steal his/her candy sooner.
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart)
Valentine panic pre kids- I forgot to chill the champagne.
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy)
Valentine panic post kids-I have 3 dozen cupcakes to ice and no champagne left.
When making Valentines for preschoolers, is it ok to address them all to "Tiny Satan" since the kids can't read? Asking for myself.
— Ashley Austrew (@ashleyaustrew)
Valentine's Day stokes the fire of passion.
— MakeAmericaMEHAgain (@TheAlexNevil)
Seeing your kid bouncing off the walls from candy hearts pours ice water on it.
Teaching my kids how to make Valentines out of toilet paper rolls to be Eco-Friendly, but mainly to illustrate this Holiday is full of shit.
— Tara Brown (@Faux_Ma)
I like to play this fun game where I try to figure out the best cocktails to go with all the candy I steal from my kids' class valentines.
— Danielle Herzog (@martinisandmini)
7yo told me he asked a girl to be his valentine for the class party 2moro by drawing her a slice of pizza.
— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott)
The kid is brilliant.
The toddler's asleep!
— La Guardia Cross (@LaGuardiaCross)
Let the Valentine's Festivities BEGIN!
This AM my son: "I need a bag for Valentines at school today."
— B. Miller (@BlaiseInKC)
Me: "Don't you need cards?"
Him: "It's ok. I'll pretend to pass out cards."
Ain't no party like a daycare Valentine's party because a daycare Valentine's party is sticky.
— The Glad Stork (@TheGladStork)
My 4yo woke me up at 7am to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day!
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried)
BRB, I have to go tell him that love is bullshit and everyone dies alone.
Me: Happy Valentine's Day, kids! Here are some homemade cinnamon rolls I made for you!
— Momma of Midgard (@MidgardMomma)
Kid: Why didn't you make them into hearts?
Me: ...
For Valentine's Day, let's avoid people we know in Target together.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon)
Trying to be a good mom I made homemade Valentine's with my kids being an idiot I used glue stick as chapstick so yes these lips ARE sealed
— Jennifer Lizza (@outsmartedmommy)
Wishful Parenting Talk on Valentine's Day: "We got a babysitter!"
— The ParentNormal (@ParentNormal)
Likely Parenting Talk on Valentine's Day: "The babysitter cancelled."
I want to do a Valentine's day craft with my kids. And by "craft" I mean we're going to "eat those sugar cookies with 6 inches of frosting."
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue)
Me: Valentine’s Day is coming up.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn)
4-year-old: Is that the one with Leprechauns?
Me: No.
4: Not interested.
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